Play: The Index

An office. KENNY (49) sits at his desk, reading a newspaper. DAVID (27) sits at his desk, tapping at a laptop.

DAVID
(in an ‘I’m actually doing it” voice) I’m refreshing.

KENNY
(disinterested) Yeah, you’re just missing a flower in your hair. (silence) What, no comeback? Disappointing, kid.

DAVID
Always assume I’m saying ‘fuck you’ on the inside, sir.

KENNY
At least d/l some porn if you’re going to be fucking around with that all day. (beat) ChixMix isn’t flagged yet, I think.

DAVID
(announcing) One hundred and forty-seven. I told you! – Sir.

As Kenny walks to David’s desk to peer at the laptop screen –

KENNY
That’s not so bad. At least we’re on the list –

DAVID
We’re better off not on it. We’re below Congo and Bhutan.

KENNY
We’re above Iraq.

DAVID
By one place. You got a way to spin that too?

As Kenny goes back to his desk –

KENNY
I told you, kid. We got it covered. Geez. Switch to boxers.

DAVID
You’ve got a 40 cm letter criticizing the government running with a 20 cm report on our Press Freedom Index ranking. Am I right? (silence) You don’t think somebody out there is going to go (puts finger to lip) “Hmm, I wonder whether this is a set-up?”.

KENNY
(already reading his newspaper) No. I don’t think anyone will actually take the time to be that gay. Besides, we got a full-page pet the dog on Tuesday too. (P.R. voice) “The RSF index is based largely on a different media model which favors the advocacy and adversarial role of the press. Singapore's media model is different. Our model is that of a free and responsible press whose role is to report news accurately and objectively to Singaporeans.” (normal voice) Throw in the A.T. Kearney Globalization Index number, get the Jones Lang LaSalle Survey in a sidebar, and it’ll aaaaall be good.

DAVID
(under his breath, but clearly meant for Kenny to hear) Yeah, you got it “aaaaall” lubed up, haven’t you?

KENNY
(with a tinge of warning) You see any riots in the past few years? Rebels storming our offices?

DAVID
No, but –

KENNY
Singapore Inc. still spiking the charts?

DAVID
That’s not –

KENNY
So what’s your problem, kid?

DAVID
I just don’t think rebuttals slash pet the dogs are gonna cut anymore. (beat) We’ve had a really bad P.R. year – Tisch declined us –

KENNY
Never reported.

DAVID
The Warwick campus voted against us –

KENNY
(bored) It’s the British. Nobody cares.

DAVID
The Nguyen hanging pissed off the human rights group, the anti-death penalty camp, and the Australians –

KENNY
Mr. Nguyen knew of our nation’s zero tolerance of heroin –

DAVID
A*Star debacle, bloggers jailed, walkover Presidential election –

KENNY
Defamation, sedition, disqualification. All perfectly legal –

DAVID
Exactly. All legal. Michael Fay was legal, and how much ass did we have to kiss after that bit of law?

KENNY
(annoyed, putting down his newspaper) Kid. You gotta plan, spill it.

DAVID
A Speakers’ Corner.

KENNY
The London one? Here?

DAVID
It’s not rewriting the Constitution. (beat) It’s good P.R. –

KENNY
(nodding) No. No, you’re right – Free Speech and everything –

DAVID
We just need to find a place –

KENNY
I know exactly where –

DAVID
(forestalling) Somewhere central –

KENNY
(with relish) Hong Kee Park.

Dead silence.

DAVID
That’s so far west it’s practically in Malaysia. No-one’s –

KENNY
(P.R. voice) It’ll weed out the determinedly nationalistic from the merely above apathetic –

DAVID
(viciously) It’s a joke!

KENNY
Kid. (beat) You wanna change the system?

DAVID
Yes –

KENNY
You wanna do it more easily from inside the system?

DAVID
You’re not –

KENNY
Then you’ll have to stay employed in the system, won’t you?

DAVID
That’s not right.

KENNY
David, David, David. Do you really think you’re the first person to come in here all poofed up with your grand ideals –

DAVID
At least I have some ideals –

KENNY
You got any close Malay friends, David? (silence) Talk to Ahmed? – He’s the elevator guy. (silence) Lisa, the lesbian coffee girl –

DAVID
I get it –

KENNY
No. You don’t. (gently) You’re new, so you getta pass, but sometimes the problem with people like you, David, is that you look at other people and you don’t see other people. You see causes, and that’s not what we do. We’re about the people –

DAVID
(bursting out) I’m gay.

KENNY
(beat) I know. (beat) I knew. (beat) It’s the hair. (beat) You want a hug?

DAVID
You talk about us being about the people. I’m the people. What have you done for me?

KENNY
I tabled the repeal of ‘Law 69’. I think that’s pretty big for you, don’t you?

DAVID
(obstinately) The difference between us, Kenny, is that if I accidentally ‘gay up’ in public, or if some scoop-hungry journo catches me at the wrong place at the wrong time –

KENNY
Don’t be dramatic. You won’t be fired –

DAVID
I won’t get nearly enough votes at the next General Elections.

KENNY
Exactly. We’re doing the best we can under the circumstances. We close an eye to the gays, lesbians, trannies, Malays, pros, pimps, rec druggies and a whole lotta other people because we know better. But the vast majority of people out there don’t, so we leave a few stupid laws in the Constitution to keep ‘em happy. Sure, it’s not a perfect system, and there’ll always be a few angry people with axes to grind, but if everyone mostly gets to do what they like –

DAVID
Stop it. Stop talking. You do these things with words – (idealistic crusade) I’m not as well-greased as you, sir, but that isn’t tolerance. It’s avert-your-eyes, sweep-under-the-carpet, deliberate blindness, and every day that a perfectly good article gets pulled because it crosses some “sensitive” O.B. marker is another day that we get a little more blind –

KENNY
You don’t get it –

DAVID
We should be educating them –

KENNY
(wearily) People don’t want to be educated, Dave. People don’t get blinder because articles get pulled. They get blinder because they want to –

DAVID
(passionately) Then we should be making it impossible for them to ignore –

KENNY
Then how are you any different from the people you despise?

Dead silence.

DAVID
(an effort at calmness) I just think that we should be moving forwards to some sort of balance, as opposed to ignoring –

KENNY
Do you know what happens to people with agendas, David? They get ignored. It doesn’t matter how reasonable or logical you are, because as long as you’ve got an axe to grind –

DAVID
Then you should speak for us –

KENNY
(angrily) What the fuck do you think I have been doing? You talk about change like it’s a piece of magic that happens once the ink is dry. (wearily) Do you know what will happen if I do what you say? By tomorrow afternoon everyone on this floor will be canned and by tomorrow evening everything I’ve worked for in the past twelve years will be gone, just like that. Change doesn’t work the way you dream it does. It’s not fiery revolution. It’s an invisible, uncredited, slog. It’s one word here, a few more seconds of a T.V. show there, and maybe one person every few months – if we’re lucky – who starts asking a few more questions. (beat) And yes, sometimes it’s about making a proposal or floating a law that you hate, either because it’ll getcha a favor down the road, or because it’s so disgusting that you hope a few people out there will go, “What the fuck is this?”. That’s how change works.

Kenny stops. A beat, then –

DAVID
(gently) Yeah, but you fuck around with the wrong people too many times and you never get clean… Kenny.

KENNY
(beat) You ‘straightened’ yourself up to get the votes, didn’t you? (beat) It’s a revolving door here cause people don’t like getting really down and dirty, David, and they don’t like backstage work. (A pause, then wearily) It’s the only way to get things done. The only way. (beat) Right now, Singapore is a place that will break your heart if you care. And if you get tired, or if you can’t cut it, then you shouldn’t be here.

David and Kenny are silent for a long moment. Then –

DAVID
Hong Kee Park. (beat) But I want that favor down the road.

KENNY
(beat, then acknowledging) Draw up a proposal, and we’ll talk.