Gay.com Column: Bald(win) Ambition

Coming up on TV screens this fall: the battle of the Baldwin brothers! Though not competing in the same timeslot, eldest Alec and third out of four Billy will be starring in heavyweight shows – on rival networks. Alec has the advantage now, with one season of the critically acclaimed “30 Rock” already under his belt. But whether the NBC comedy can draw as many eyeballs as ABC drama upstart “Dirty Sexy Money” – well, that’s something we’ll only know when the winter hiatus is upon us.

Whatever the result of Baldwin vs. Baldwin, however, viewers can only stand to gain. Alec’s hilariously oily Jack Donaghy has already been the toast of the town; and, sure, Billy’s a wild card quality-wise, but anyone who’s seen him in “Fair Game” with Cindy Crawford will know that he’s always good for a laugh too, even if it’s not with him.

And in any case the success of any Baldwin should be roundly cheered, if only because they’ve had it really bad the past couple of... decades. Anyone remember Billy’s “One Eyed King” or “You Stupid Man”? Not even information-whore Wikipedia will acknowledge those movies. And though Alec’s trod a less cringe-worthy silver screen path with films like “The Departed” and “Running With Scissors”, there’s still “The SpongeBob Square Pants Movie” to be considered long and hard. Not to mention “Fun with Dick and Jane”.

And we haven’t even considered what this might do for second and fourth Baldwins Daniel and Stephen. Doesn’t the prospect of an all-Baldwin showdown make you all warm and tingly inside? That idea alone is going to make me tune in to “30 Rock” and “Dirty Sexy Money” religiously.

So if you want to stump for a Baldwin quartet on primetime television, don’t forget to tune into NBC’s “30 Rock” on Thursdays at 8.30 pm / 7.30 pm central, and ABC’s “Dirty Sexy Money” on Wednesdays at 10 pm / 9 pm central.

*** Since this article I have detected the stealthy presence of one Adam Baldwin on NBC’s dweeb-CIA dramedy “Chuck”. While I’m disappointed to learn that said Baldwin is not in fact an illegitimate brother to our quartet, this only proves that a Baldwin resurgence is at hand. Memo to network executives: time to capitalize!