Gay.com Column: "Heroes": Where in the hell was Bell's Elle?

She came, she fried, she called someone daddy. And then she disappeared.

Did anybody else miss Kristen Bell on yesterday’s episode of “Heroes”?

Written as an intriguing mixture of perkiness and malevolence, her character Elle was the bright spot of last week's episode. And although it was her first appearance of thirteen contracted episodes, Bell proved to be worth the fortune the network must have coughed up.

So far, press releases have indicated that Elle has ties to our existing heroes. While her involvement in Peter Petrelli’s supposed death is likely to be revealed soon – the character having been shown already to be on a mission to locate him – other tidbits parceled out will probably take longer to pay off, such as her connection to Noah Bennett’s past.

But, for the moment, her superpower of lightning bolts and the mysterious identity of her father – both of these have been enough to stir up some serious speculation. Does the sassy blonde have any other powers up her devious sleeve? And if her father – who sent her to locate Peter Petrelli – is indeed part of the morally gray Company, is it someone we’ve met already or a puppet-master still in the shadows?

More importantly, who is Elle exactly? Bell has hinted in interviews that a twist about the character is in store, and many have poured forth suggestions about the nature of this statement. Since the character is being portrayed currently as on this side of evil, does this mean she’s actually a younger and sassier version of Bennett – who was similarly thought to be bad at this stage of last season’s “Heroes”? Or is reverse psychology the name of this character’s game? With the magnificently creepy Sylar likely to take a backseat – actor Zachary Quinto having landed the part of Spock in the upcoming “Star Trek” film – perhaps Elle is stepping up to take over the mantle of Villain?

So many questions, but luckily we have time. Although she was sadly missing from yesterday's episode, with twelve more appearances of Bell and Elle in the remaining months, fans of the actress and character will no doubt be satisfied. And that’s a good thing, since the show’s pacing and storylines to date have been uneven at best. But – notwithstanding last season’s anti-climactic finale – the show writers have proven themselves capable of tying up storylines, so we can all hope that this is still the case.

And that, of course, Elle is somehow the knot that everything culminates in finally.

Support Kristen Bell by watching “Heroes” every Monday on NBC, at 9 pm / 8 pm central.

Gay.com Column: Friday Night (High)Lights: The Score

It's been a long and agonizing wait, but the numbers are finally in. With the premiere of "Women's Murder Club" three Friday nights ago, the fall television schedule of that night has finally been stabilized. Barring any cancellations or drastic changes in quality, the Nielsen patterns of each program are unlikely to fluctuate wildly.

So how is the cult-beloved "Friday Night Lights" doing in the game of ratings? The Nielsen breakdown of the timeslot reveals a complicated scoreline.

On the basis of pure eyeballs alone, "Friday Night Lights" is being outshone, plain and simple. Despite a recent climb in total viewers - its premiere drew 6.5 million people, and subsequent episodes 5.42, 5.48, and this past Friday's episode 5.88 million people - the show still trails far behind its rivals in the timeslot.

Even though "Women's Murder Club" is bleeding followers every single week, those ditching the club seem to be going to "Moonlight" instead; in any case, both "Club" and "Moonlight" are averaging much higher audiences, at 9.5 and 8 million watchers respectively. Given these trends in total viewership numbers, "Friday Night Lights" will probably never get out of its laggard third place in this category.

That being said, another yardstick favored by network executives may keep our "Lights" in play, and that is the all-important 18-49 demographic. Much prized for its purchasing power and therefore by advertisers, this age group is fiercely contested by any and every network, and "Friday Night Lights" is attracting as much of this demographic as "Club", and only slightly less than "Moonlight".

What this means is that, while unlikely to be picked up for the full season based on overall popularity, NBC may justify such a decision by citing the show's appeal to advertisers.

And the chances of it doing so are looking good, at least for the moment. With the network's "Journeyman" floundering in its Mondays 10 pm / 9 pm central slot, there has been talk of a trade in showtimes between "Journeyman" and "Friday Night Lights".

While this is a risky venture - the post-"Heroes" timeslot could increase viewers for "Friday Night Lights", or expose the series's inability to get new people in the game - it shows that the network is trying to keep "Lights" going.

The continued and many comparisons to similarly lauded-but-underwatched "Veronica Mars" may also persuade NBC to let the show play out this season at least.

So, all things considered, fans of "Friday Night Lights" may very well have a full season to rejoice.

But, as always, the only sure way to avoid cancellation heartbreak is to persuade everyone and their Nielsen-having grandmas to tune in to the show. Whatever advertisers, critical reception, and bags and bags of peanuts may bring to the game, networks and Nielsen numbers are what matter in the end.

So if you want "Friday Night Lights" to continue lighting up your Friday nights (or possibly Monday nights), watch. It's that simple.

"Friday Night Lights" airs every Friday on NBC, at 9 pm / 8 pm central.

Gay.com Column: "Brothers and Sisters": The Gay Waiter and the Cancelled CBS Show

Already an exemplar of gay-friendliness on primetime television, "Brothers and Sisters" may soon be set to hit a trifecta of rainbow storylines.

Last week's episode saw the return of Luke MacFarlane's cater waiter Scotty Wandell. Ex-boyfriend to Matthew Rhys's eponymous brother Kevin Walker, the two had parted due to differences over class and money issues (hotshot lawyer Walker has both, Wandell not so much). In last week and this past Sunday's episodes, however, the two crossed paths because of a traffic violation, and they took baby steps towards becoming fast - if bed-free - friends.

Fans of MacFarlane may be disappointed at this platonic turnaround, but this decision has also occasioned a collective sigh of relief from others. Since Wandell's exit mid-last season, Walker had begun dating Jason McCallister, a missionary played by the sizzling Eric Winters. With that relationship officially only on hold - McCallister being packed off to Malaysia so Winters could do "Viva Laughlin" - it would have been at least unseemly for Walker to cheat on his long-distance boyfriend.

That being said, the character of Scotty Wandell looks set to stay, MacFarlane having been contracted for at least a third of this season. How the writers handle his arc, however, may become a cause for concern.

Executive producer Greg Berlanti has said he envisions Wandell as Walker's 'Mr. Big', but the allusion to "Sex and the City" does not follow through on this show: Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big had entire seasons of love and turmoil, while even in the debut season of "Brothers and Sisters", Wandell was but one of three equally-weighted love interests. If Walker and Wandell were indeed to follow a "City" template, it would be more along the lines of Miranda Hobbes and Steve Brady: a relationship (not The Relationship), followed by friendship and eventual true love. Of course, Hobbes and Brady were brought together by an unanticipated baby, so creator Jon Robin Baitz is going to have to get really, really creative, if he wants to bring to W and W the same believability as each other's soul-mates.

But what if they're not meant to be soul-mates, not even by the writers? Well, that's the other difficulty currently facing the writing team. If Wandell's character isn't being set up as Kevin Walker's One True Love, then what could fill in and justify his continued presence on the show? Characters have to evolve or risk becoming one-note creatures, and, short of giving Wandell storylines of his own, the only way to evolve him is to adjust his relationship to Walker.

As the situation is currently primed, it seems to me that the options are relatively clear-cut: either the writers make Kevin Walker a long-distance cheater, or they start making Wandell a character independent of Walker, or they reduce Wandell to the flat and one-note Recurring and Plot-Advancing Friend.

There are, of course, two other broad scenarios as yet left unmentioned. If Walker and McCallister were to be separated for whatever reason - the stress of maintaining a relationship across hemispheres, an unfortunate encounter with a deadly snake in Malaysia - the path would be cleared for a jackass-free W-W lovefest. This may have been the writers' plan had "Viva Laughlin" become a hit.

The operative word in that sentence, however, is at this point 'had'. Attacked by scathing reviews and hobbled by freefalling viewership numbers, 'Viva (No One's) Laughlin' has been officially cancelled by CBS. Which means that Winters is now free to entertain other opportunities - including, most likely, a call by the substantial McCallister fans to return to "Brothers and Sisters". The comparative popularity between Wandell and McCallister is of course impossible to judge, but the writers have to know that McCallister was also at least a fan favorite. And now that Winters is, as mentioned, free to entertain other opportunities, it would be seen as at least remiss should "Brothers and Sisters" not present such an offer. And with the show already an established critical and commercial darling, what are the chances, do you think, that Winters will say yes?

If this should indeed come to pass, then the other broad scenario would involve simultaneous storylines involving Walker, Wandell and McCallister. While I have no clue what specific storylines this scenario would entail, in my opinion this will go a long way towards freeing the writers to explore Wandell - without making him the constant if unspoken threat to an absent McCallister. While Wandell can only provide a listening ear so many times to long distance woes, advancing a Walker and McCallister storyline can only give Wandell more narrative places to go, especially as a single friend to one half of their couple.

It hardly needs saying that this is what I hope to see. With the LGBT credentials behind the "Brothers and Sisters" writing team, one of my personal wishes is to see the show tackle both platonic and romantic gay relationships. Should Jason McCallister make a return from (much too) far-off Malaysia, we would have a gay relationship (Kevin Walker and Jason McCallister), a gay friendship (Kevin Walker and Scotty Wandell), and a gay family storyline (Kevin Walker and his probably-closeted Uncle Saul) - all at the same time on one primetime program.

I wouldn't know what to call such a trifecta but a watershed television moment, so let's all hope that the much-deserving "Brothers and Sisters" is the first to make such history.

"Brothers and Sisters" airs Sundays on ABC, at 10 pm / 9 pm central.

Gay.com Column: "Prison Break": Are the writers losing their heads?

Shark-jumping. Ballsy. Cop-out. Game-changer. All these words and more were used to describe the beheading of Sara Tancredi.

Played by the fresh-faced Sarah Wayne Callies, Tancredi was the One True Love of Wentworth Miller's Michael Scofield. In the first season of "Prison Break", Scofield got himself sent to prison, the move part of a masterplan to spring his death-row brother. But the blueprint for their breakout was quickly complicated, as Scofield fell in love with prison doctor - and pawn - Tancredi. After a season's worth of agonizing will-they-won't-they tension, shippers everywhere were finally rewarded when Tancredi agreed to help in the escape. The prospective fall-out of her decision also ratcheted up anticipation for season two.

And man were fans not disappointed. Despite the sophomore season's uneven pacing, fireworks continued to fly between Scofield and Tancredi, as both were drawn deeper into a murderous conspiracy. Just as their relationship seemed about to materialize, however, Scofield chose to return to prison, taking the rap for Tancredi's killing of a conspiracy flunky who would have off'd them. Though this was a bittersweet finale for MiSa fans, they took comfort in the fact that there had to be a scorcher of a reunion. After all, their love for each other proved, what could keep Scofield and Tancredi from each other?

As it turned out, a very sharp hacksaw would do the trick. In the ongoing third season's biggest plot point so far, Tancredi, after being kidnapped alongside Scofield's nephew, was summarily beheaded by her kidnappers. The ostensible reason? Payback for a botched rescue attempt, and a warning that the nephew was next if the brothers did not do as told.

Of course, those in the know will recognize this reason as utter bullcrap. Since the summer, trouble has been on the horizon for this MiSa One True Pairing. After news surfaced about the pregnant Callies's contract negotiation problems, rumors began to circulate that Tancredi was not long for "Prison Break". After the release of the season three cast photos - from which Callies was conspicuously absent - the prospect of a MiSa happy ending seemed even more unlikely.

Still, judging from fans' outcry over Callies's abrupt departure, certainly this particular exit was probably not foreseen. Even two weeks after the now infamous episode, "Prison Break" fans are still debating the ethics of the exit. And considering the heated-ness of some of those debates - which include actor-producer negotiations and actors' professional versus personal responsibilities - the controversy is unlikely to abate soon, at least not in the "Prison Break" world.

However, rather than concentrate on the behind-the-scenes action, let's not forget that this is first and foremost an ongoing series. How will Sara Tancredi's beheading ripple through future episodes?

MiSa has always been an important component of the series. Whether viewers are also shippers or not, it remains a fact that season three is predicated on Scofield's sacrifice for Tancredi. So removing Scofield's One True Love is bound to leave a vacuum and, furthermore, leave the writers in a bind: if they don't replace Tancredi then they risk losing the romance-invested audience, but, if they do replace her, they risk making Scofield look like the world's giantest tool.

Regardless of their choice, however, the brutal death of Tancredi may already have done irreparable damage: with the decapitation of the character goes the last strong woman of the show, a demographic "Prison Break" has always had trouble portraying. Consider the show's track record with its leading women: season one's Veronica Donovan was held hostage twice, before being shot and dismembered; Sara Tancredi, before losing her head, was tortured horrifically and kidnapped. Considering the comparatively lighter punishment the men on the show have undergone, all this adds up to an indelibly misogynistic tone. This is a situation that is likely to lead to some problems.

Having said all this, however, there is one good outcome to this plot point: it sure as hell has created a lot of dramatic potential for the Scofield brothers. What will Michael Scofield do when he finds out what he's responsible for? And how will he feel when he learns that his brother has kept Tancredi's execution from him? To date, the series has not featured a substantial altercation between the fiercely devoted brothers, but, if anything will do the trick, this Tancredi situation will be it.

It's not the beheading that is really the issue at hand; it's more what route the writers will take having killed off Dr. Sara Tancredi. What characters have the new female actresses been hired to portray? How will the writers handle the fallout of the popular Tancredi's death? They have to know that they are on a very limited grace period, but, from this somewhat jaded and on-the-fence watcher, here's hoping that they manage somehow pull off a last-minute miracle.

Gay.com Column: Move it, "America's Next Top Model"

Yes, you’ve all watched the absolutely fabulous “America’s Next Top Model”. But how many of you have actually heard of “America’s Most Smartest Model”?

Premiering last week on Viacom’s VH1, the show features sixteen pretties fighting for the title of smartest. Competing weekly in “bifurcated challenges” – that’s two challenges per episode for wols-es like you and me – the models have to keep their pretty on while desperately searching for their neurons.

And the premiere pulls no punches as it rolls out the format and its contestants. Refreshingly self-aware of its utter ridiculousness, the show plunges into its first contests with a maximum of glee and hilarity.

First up is the ‘Edge’ challenge, where the winner will get an advantage (or edge) in the later elimination ‘Callback’. In perhaps the funniest reality challenge ever screened on television, the legal-to-drink contestants are put to a classic American test – the spelling bee.

Beginning with piece-of-cake words like ‘blue’ and ‘Fendi’ and ‘weightlifting’ (you gotta remember here that these are models that we are talking about), the episode goes on to reveal its genius in the later more difficult rounds.

Playgirl slash possible porn star Mandy Lynn is asked to spell the word ‘collagen’ – to which she has a fantastic comeback that could only come from a Playgirl. Then there is the Argentinean Gaston ‘Too Sexy For America’ Willig, who not only asks for the definition but also for the usage of ‘nincompoop’. And we haven’t even mentioned the resident catbitch of the bunch – a black male himbo named Jesse who is straight out of “Zoolander” casting.

But just when it seems like the show can’t possibly get any more hilarious, it’s time for the ‘Callback’ challenge that mixes modeling with general knowledge questions. Asked to catwalk while naming as many items as they can from totally random categories, the models fall victim to nerves and idiocy as the sound effects swerve into wacky-town. And we'll only say that there's a very good reason why the premiere is titled 'Balls, Cherries, Balloons, Tires'.

Of course in the end there is elimination, and there are grand prizes waiting and all that stuff. But for once – and this is such a rarity – there is hardly any self-important seriousness. Even the co-hosts of the program are seemingly in on the wink-wink fun: just watch as Mary Alice Stephenson glees over a contestant that she can pet-project personally, and as Ben ‘that guy from Ferris Bueller’ Stein gets all old-man-lecherous with Mandy Lynn.

With multiple airings around the clock, there’s really no reason to miss this infinitely more watchable and must-watchable “America’s…”. But if you really need one more compelling reason to tune in from here on out: the second episode will feature a few contestants modeling buck-naked. Go to the show’s website and take a look at the diverse Adonises and Aphroditeses, and we promise there'll be at least one person you'd even pay to see buck-naked.

"America's Most Smartest Model" airs mornings, afternoons and evenings, all week all the time on the VH1 channel. Go here to find the best showtime that will fit into your busy schedule.

Gay.com Column: Dweebtime Update: "Reaper"

Ah, the CW. One moment it's gutsying up with shows like "Aliens in America", and the next it's soaping up primetime with the likes of "One Tree Hill".

In the network's entry into this TV season's dweebfight, Bret Harrison ("Grounded for Life", "The Loop") top-bills as Sam, a nerd whose soul has been promised to the Devil. Satan-bound to track down escapees from Hell, Sam takes on demons a la predecessor "Charmed", all the while fighting his manifest destiny.

Yes, the premise of "Reaper" wavers between ludicrous and generic, but the show managed to somehow finagle some serious talent pre-pilot. Ray Wise brings his slick and charm to the recurring and dapper Satan, while noted filmmaker Kevin Smith signed on to direct the series premiere.

Despite the clout of these two names, however, all is not well within the Reaperverse. The problem is, three episodes in, Wise and Smith remain the best things about the show thus far. While Harrison's innate geekitude is still on this side of adorable, Sam's kicked-puppy character is on the very verge of annoying.

Add to that a cast of supporting characters that's variously bland (Missy Peregrym's 'Andi') or polarizing (Tyler Labine's 'Sock'), and "Reaper" may not end up reaping all the eyeballs that it needs.

Thankfully, it is on the CW, where eyeball requirements are generally lower. Also, given the network's history of unpredictability, "Reaper" may yet turn out to be more "Veronica Mars" than "Hidden Palms". The show will also benefit from its fortuitous timeslot, where it faces off with "House", "The Unit", and the "Dancing with the Stars" results show. This will give it the time it needs, since upcoming episodes will be crucial. The show needs to find its soul, and find it pronto - or risk ending up on this TV season's 'Doomed' list.

If you intend to add your name to Satan's register: Have an exit strategy. Even as you proclaim yourself the show's loyal henchbitch, leave room to plead demonic possession in case it crash and burns.

"Reaper" hopes to get your soul on Tuesdays on the CW, 9 pm / 8 pm central.

Gay.com Column: Dweebtime Update: "Chuck"

For every freshman hit on primetime television, you can expect a surge of wannabes the very next TV season. When "Lost" became the 2004-2005 season's biggest find, fall 2005 premiered the also-otherworldly "Invasion", "Surface", "Threshold" and "Supernatural".

This TV season is no different. Last fall NBC developed superpowered ratings, thanks to a coterie of unlikely "Heroes". This fall, we have not one, not two, but three new primetime shows about dweebs with magic DNA. Can these newly-arrived geeks survive their cut-throat timeslots, and, more importantly, which nerd(s) will you want to keep on your busy DVR schedule? Hopefully the Dweebtime Update will answer some of these questions, and hopefully with it you won't have to develop dweeb-cancellation heartbreak.



The Most Nerdtastic James Bond Ever

He pairs up his shirts with pocket protectors, and works at an electronics department called the Nerd Herd. And even though NBC's eponymous "Chuck" is played by the totally cute Zachary Levi, the character needs his sister to set him up with women.

Luckily for Chuck, the (not really) geek has two weapons on his side: the law of television that geeks must be secretly awesome, and an email that transforms his brain into a database of CIA secrets.

Whether this unlikely James Bond can survive his first network foray, however, is a question still very much in the air.

The NBC promotional machine is in full throttle for "Heroes", so "Chuck" has to battle by itself against returnees "Dancing with the Stars", "Prison Break" and "How I Met Your Mother" - all established and well-liked shows.

Even its credits read like 'yes, but' assets: even though co-creator Josh Schwartz helmed the wildly popular first season of "The O.C.", these days people are more likely to remember the stinkbombs that were the later seasons. And even though fans of cult favorite "Veronica Mars" may follow "Mars" writer Phil Klemmer to "Chuck", there aren't enough Martians to make even a blip on the all important Nielsens.

The best hope for a second outing, ironically, may lie in the low buzz around the show: if it even gets "Monk" or "Medium" midrange numbers, that should be enough for this second-string NBC agent.

Survival Tip: If you're a Chuckhead (Chucklehead?) or intend to become one, keep this show alive by directing people to Levi's IMDb page: the guy's actually not just dorkily cute, but a full-on hottie kept geek-bound for now. Once you've done that, sit back and watch as "Chuck" kicks ass, thanks to those tuning in in anticipation of hotness.

"Chuck" airs on NBC on Mondays at 8 pm / 7 pm central.

Gay.com Column: Bald(win) Ambition

Coming up on TV screens this fall: the battle of the Baldwin brothers! Though not competing in the same timeslot, eldest Alec and third out of four Billy will be starring in heavyweight shows – on rival networks. Alec has the advantage now, with one season of the critically acclaimed “30 Rock” already under his belt. But whether the NBC comedy can draw as many eyeballs as ABC drama upstart “Dirty Sexy Money” – well, that’s something we’ll only know when the winter hiatus is upon us.

Whatever the result of Baldwin vs. Baldwin, however, viewers can only stand to gain. Alec’s hilariously oily Jack Donaghy has already been the toast of the town; and, sure, Billy’s a wild card quality-wise, but anyone who’s seen him in “Fair Game” with Cindy Crawford will know that he’s always good for a laugh too, even if it’s not with him.

And in any case the success of any Baldwin should be roundly cheered, if only because they’ve had it really bad the past couple of... decades. Anyone remember Billy’s “One Eyed King” or “You Stupid Man”? Not even information-whore Wikipedia will acknowledge those movies. And though Alec’s trod a less cringe-worthy silver screen path with films like “The Departed” and “Running With Scissors”, there’s still “The SpongeBob Square Pants Movie” to be considered long and hard. Not to mention “Fun with Dick and Jane”.

And we haven’t even considered what this might do for second and fourth Baldwins Daniel and Stephen. Doesn’t the prospect of an all-Baldwin showdown make you all warm and tingly inside? That idea alone is going to make me tune in to “30 Rock” and “Dirty Sexy Money” religiously.

So if you want to stump for a Baldwin quartet on primetime television, don’t forget to tune into NBC’s “30 Rock” on Thursdays at 8.30 pm / 7.30 pm central, and ABC’s “Dirty Sexy Money” on Wednesdays at 10 pm / 9 pm central.

*** Since this article I have detected the stealthy presence of one Adam Baldwin on NBC’s dweeb-CIA dramedy “Chuck”. While I’m disappointed to learn that said Baldwin is not in fact an illegitimate brother to our quartet, this only proves that a Baldwin resurgence is at hand. Memo to network executives: time to capitalize!