Story: Easy Questions

Just a few easy questions. All right. Name? Yinghao. Spelled Y-I-N-G? H-A-O. Sex, male; age? Twenty and four days… five hours, six minutes…. and thirty-one seconds. Address. 25 Butterfly Avenue. Along Geylang Road, is that right? The one and only. 25. Postal code, 432051. Okay then. Do you need my identification card? Just the number. 8263124. And the letter. S. Got it. Anything else? Blood type. Of course; O. Universal donor. That’s right. But not universal receiver. How unlucky for me.

All right then; do you know James? Yes, I do. How long have you known him? Is that on there? No, not really. I’ve known him for a pretty long time. Be specific; when did you guys first meet? Two years ago. Month? August? Date? I didn’t circle it on a calendar. So would you say you know him quite well? No, I wouldn’t say that. Why not? Because I know I don’t really know him all that well. Would you say the two of you were friends, then? Well, kind of. Kind of what? Kind of friends? Acquaintances, then. No, not acquaintances. So somewhere between friends and acquaintances? Yes, I guess you could say that. Are you closer to friend or acquaintance? I really couldn’t say, and anyway that doesn’t depend on me alone, now, does it? So we’ll say you always remember his birthday, but never quite know what to get for him. Yes, exactly, thank you; that’s kind of exactly how I feel. I’ve been there. I think everyone has.

So, do you love him? What? Was I unclear? I’m not quite sure why that would be any of your business. It’s a yes or no question; I don’t care what the answer is. Then why are you asking? Because he asked me to. He wouldn’t do that. Well, you don’t really know him all that well, do you? Why would he ask you to do that? Because you said you did. I said I did? Love him. When? Four days ago; you were happy and you were drunk. I did? He says you did. No. Well, you did; do you? I don’t know. How can you not know? I might be. Might be. It’s hard to tell what’s fact and what’s fiction when you’re drunk. But you’re not drunk now. How do you know? Might be. Are you going to tell him that? I guess. Don’t. Why not? Because. It’s an honest answer, at least. Oh god; did he…? Yep. Shit; so I’m the reason he’s in here? Appears so. That was stupid. So is drinking when you have something you don’t want to say. Silly guy. Not anymore silly than you are. If I did say it, I didn’t say it on purpose. I know. I wasn’t out to get him; I’m not his enemy. You’re not his friend. It’s not that simple. I know it’s not. What are you, doctor and counselor? Same thing; so what are you, enemy, acquaintance, friend, blood donor… crush? Same thing. I can’t tell him that. Why not? I’ll just tell him that you said you love him… again. I was drunk! You haven’t given me an answer! I don’t have one!

Look. This is stupid. Make up your mind. Pick a word and stick to it.

You look. What do you want me to say? You want me to say that, yes, I love him? But I don’t! I mean, I do love him, but it’s not love love. It’s not I’ll-give-you-a-kidney-if-both-of-yours-fail – I mean, I don’t know if that’s what it is. So I don’t want you to go tell him that I love him when I don’t even know whether I like him, which I don’t, not really – maybe sometimes. It’s – we’re a lot more complicated than that, and I don’t want you to go and reduce it to one stupid word. I don’t want you to go and reduce me to one stupid word. Or even two stupid words. Or three. Or four. Just – just don’t say anything at all. Can’t you do that?

You can’t live your life without using words.

…I know.