Gay.com Column: Clinton V. Obama: The Greatest Show On Earth

A confession: in the past month, my television viewing has largely been restricted to DVDs and the odd hour of network programming. As a student at NYU's scriptwriting department, it just didn't feel right crossing picket lines, even in the privacy of my own living room.

That being said, I've been getting my fill of comedy, drama, pathos and tragedy - and all of it, surprisingly, from the normally boring-as-hell C-SPAN.

Clinton V. Obama has been going on for some time now; but only recently has it taken on the dimensions of a soap opera. I was first hooked by the drama of Iowa, where months of groundswell for Senator Obama was capped by the candidate's victory. Suddenly, faced with Senator Obama's capture of the state's voting majority, Senator Clinton was officially no longer the inevitable Presidential nominee.

And, since then, each day of the battle has been like daytime television. In the period between Iowa and New Hampshire, Senator Obama was the hero, the underdog of yore made good. Senator Clinton, on the other hand, was the demonised shrew, the villainess who was finally going to be cast out of the running. Going into the New Hampshire primary, you could hear the knives being sharpened for Camp Clinton, the champagne bottles waiting to be popped at Camp Obama.

But wait, what was this? The votes were coming in and Senator Clinton was... pulling ahead? New Hampshire... rallied behind Senator Clinton? The votes came in and - shocker again - Senator Clinton actually won...?!

I swear, watching C-SPAN during the night of the New Hampshire primary, I was riveted as only the best television can rivet. You really had it all: the down-to-the-wire edging between the two candidates; the anticipation of a Senator Obama lead at any moment; the overturning of any and every 'authoritative' opinion; and, finally, the second amazing comeback in less than a week.

And as for the twists and turns before, after, and during Iowa and New Hampshire - well, sometimes I looked at C-SPAN and thought: "As the World Turns" and "All My Children", I hope you're taking notes. Hell - Aaron Sorkin, J. J. Abrams, and all the network writers - you guys should probably have your notepads out too.

You want stirring oratorical speeches that just might shape the world? Look no further than Senator Obama's J.F.K.-esque firestarters. You want a plot twist that could send newspapers into a tizzy? Here's Senator Clinton's brilliantly-ambiguous brimming eyes (and how's that for a song title while you're at it?). You want deliciously taboo underpinnings to stoke the audience's fire? How about a generous helping of racism and sexism? Factor in all the splinterings, reconciliations, betrayals and leaked memos, and Clinton V. Obama was really The Greatest Show On Earth.

Even the minor characters in this opera have been eye-catching and varied, from the powerhouse that is Michelle Obama, to the ego-driven and non-too-bright Bob Johnson. Senators Clinton and Obama have, if I may say, assembled around their stars some seriously television-worthy second bananas.

Some of you might be offended at my comparisons. At first I had some misgivings too, comparing something as weighty as the presidential race to television. But, and here's the thing: you couldn't fit a piece of paper between Senators Clinton and Obama. Both, if nominated, would make the history books. And their positions on 99 percent of the issues are virtually identical. This Democratic race, in my opinion, is likely to come down to nothing but perception. This Democratic race, in my opinion, will be fought not over issues and debates, but will be fought over who can craft the best televisual story.

And I say there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. The best television shows have the power to make us Google. After watching "Friday Night Lights", I dug up everything I could on that show. After watching the nail-biter that was the New Hampshire primary, I spent five hours reading up on the senators. And if Clinton V. Obama: The Show can make me, a non-American, so invested, imagine what it must be doing across the states of America.

And the best part of this entire saga? It ain't over, not by at least a few more months. Oh no; this prime-time opera is just getting started. So, if I were you, I'd get on C-SPAN now. You don't want to miss The Greatest Show On Earth.